There has been radical change taken place in just the last year alone. With this radical change brings responsibility on us to to make sure we treat others as they deserve to be treated — as people. It is critical that we increase our love for ourselves and for others.
As we look toward the future of our society, it is just as important to consider how the upcoming generation will function within it. Here are 5 simple ways to teach compassion to kids so love and unity may abound now and in the future.
1. Be a role model yourself
Whenever we seek to spark change in others, the first thing to think about is how we need to change ourselves. It is near impossible to invite someone to act a certain way if you yourself are not doing the same thing.
Thus, in order to teach kids how to be more compassionate, we need to work on increasing compassion ourselves. Children learn a tremendous amount by what they see and hear their parents do. If they see you being compassionate toward those around you, they are likely to follow in your footsteps.
However, it is not enough to simply be compassionate to others. You need to show compassion for your children. Give them a righteous example to look up to and you are bound to instill this attribute into your children.
2. Call them out on uncompassionate behavior
When kids are exhibiting behavior that is not compassionate, they should know that what they are doing is not right. With that knowledge comes the understanding that their actions affect others.
Be loving when you correct them, for if you do not show love for them in the moments they are not showing love themselves, they are unlikely to learn.
This requires good judgement, as you do not want to be overbearing or expect perfection out of your children. It is a great rule thumb to call them out on behavior that no one would tolerate. Correcting them on behavior that is universally unacceptable will have much more applicability throughout the rest of their lives and will prevent you from being too nit picky with how they act.
Lovingly correcting their wrongs and inviting them to change will incrementally increase your children’s compassionate behavior.
3. Prioritize compassion in the family
With rambunctious kids running around the house all the time, it will take extra effort on your part to make compassion a priority in your family. It will also, however, be worth it.
Prioritizing compassion will do more than give your kids extra exposure to this essential principle. It will help your kids understand the core values in your family and give them a foundation of compassion that they can build on throughout their lives.
Don’t be afraid to talk about compassion, especially when your children are at a young age. Come at it with a sense of maturity so they understand the seriousness of it.
Create activities in your family where compassion will be nurtured. When I was young, my family set up “kitchen nights” for each sibling. On my “kitchen night,” it was my turn to wash the dishes, vacuum the floors, and wipe the counters and table after dinner. This increased my ability to help others selflessly as I had to clean up after my whole family; not just myself. We also have a Christmas tradition where we fill up a jar with extra change and money throughout the year and then give it all to someone who needs it on Christmas Eve.
Activities like these will help kids look outside of themselves and understand how much help can be given to others who need it.
4. Help your children accept their own thoughts and feelings
As we develop compassion for ourselves, we have a greater capacity to be compassionate toward others. Especially in a society with social media, kids need to learn to gain self worth from within themselves, not from others.
When children experience negative thoughts and emotions, we shouldn’t try and pretend that they aren’t there or aren’t real. My Mom has always taught me the importance of really feeling your emotions when you need to feel them, allowing you to work through those difficult times without bottling up negative emotions.
Self-awareness is the key behind all of this. Teaching children to acknowledge and accept when they have or feel negative thoughts and emotions strengthens their own self-compassion. They will learn that it is okay to go though hard times and not get your way — and that they shouldn’t beat themselves up about it. Over time, this self-acceptance will extend toward others. They will be less judgmental, more loving, and more understanding.
5. Help them expand their circle of concern
Most people have a small circle of friends and family. Children especially have a minuscule network of people they are aware of. A great way to teach kids compassion, then, is to help them understand all the other people out there that are struggling and need our help and support. This includes those that are at high-risk during the pandemic, those suffering from racism, sexism, or other forms of discrimination, and those that are less fortunate than you may be.
Ways this can be done are to help children recognize how their daily actions affect the greater good, talking to them about current events on important topics around the world, and highlighting the importance of unity and love as we serve others one-by-one.
Another great tip is to invite your children to try and recognize the unsung heroes in life.
Can they name those like soldiers in the armed forces, healthcare workers, public servants, or even custodians that sacrifice their own self-interest for the greater good on a daily basis?
Teaching them to be aware of these people will also help expand their circle of concern beyond their immediate family and friends.
Summary
To review, here are five ways to teach kids compassion:
1. Be a role model yourself
2. Call them out on uncompassionate behavior
3. Prioritize compassion in the family
4. Help your children accept their own thoughts and feelings
5. Help them expand their circle of concern
There are many more ways than those listed above to teach kids compassion. If you apply these five things, however, you will be off to a good start. Throughout this process, find what works for you and stick to it. It will be worth it as your children grow up to make the world a better place.
Check out a few more great resources on helping children learn how to be compassionate: